I've kept myself busy since the day you left
I cant bring myself to slow down
because whenever I stop everything that I'm doing
I remembered you
the mere thought of you brought tears to my eyes
I still cant believe that you're already gone
I still want to believe that this is all just a horrible nightmare

I keep persuading myself that you've gone to a better place
where there is no more suffering
yet I miss you so much
I would give everything I have just to have you back here with me
to hold my hand once again
and to see your smile

they think I'm ok because I seem so carefree
but smiling is just a way to my tears and the sadness I felt inside
why did I manage to persuade everyone except myself ?
I AM NOT OK !
I need you back to me

do you know that
till now, I don't have the courage to look at the pictures from your funeral ?
I'm afraid that if I look at them
the wall of lies I built to persuade myself that I'm ok
will come crashing down
I just can't look at them

..mama, I really miss you, can you hear me from here ? do you still remember me ?..